A Visit From an Old Friend

Tracked down,
months and miles ahead, dozing hat in hand on a park bench,
and it found me.

Naive perhaps, but as are all thoughts when
that fresh burst of freedom first hits your skin,
and your away...harsh thoughts are left
somewhere fending for themselves, bumming
a ride in I-95.

My mind was left in a haze of purple and
a maze beautiful clarity on clear mornings
when I was awake before the world. So
wrapped up in happiness I didn't see it
sneak up behind me and leave its
familiar hand on my shoulder.

And that sense of dread, that dull anger
that creeps along fast and reminds of
regrets and resentment...it's tainted flesh
smelling of burnt and bitter history.
But it smiles at you old friend, and wonders
why you thought you'd left it in the dust.

It latches its shackles back on and takes its
favorite spot on my left, matching my movements
through muscle memory as if it had never left.
We're well aquainted.

You remember now, what it's like to feel that weight,
and it grows harder to remember those brief months
without it. Your true companion, who you leave
but can't lose...why search for a better soulmate?

My eyes avoid its gaze. How dare I, it seems to say
through tugs at my chains. How dare I choose to live
a life without it? And its manner slowly changes from jealousy to rage,
as it screams in my face, "I'm here forever".