The Wars On Christmas

On behalf of the people of the United States of America I implore you to join your countrymen in defending our way of life from those who would do us harm, I'm reffering to the insatiable Empire of Secular Progressives. We stood idly by when they forced our sons to have same sex weddings and made abortions mandatory for our daughters. Well no more. Today these anti-American agitators have gone to far, they have declared war upon Americas most holy creation...Christmas. They are pushing their multicultural agenda upon us, asking us to take part in a variety of heathen festivals that I'm sure would disgust the Marquis de Sade. Last time I read my bible (which was about 10 minutes prior to typing this) I distinctly remember noting that the infant christ recieved gold, frankincense, and myrrh...not latkas, pahos, or whatever voodoo crap Karenga Claus hands out on Kwanzaa. So I ask you, my brothers and sisters in the struggle...take up arms with me and together we can drive this secular menace back into the sea!!!

Oh...and before we go to battle I thought I'd share some information on others who will be doing some fighting of their own this Holiday Season...

Somali Civil War

Combatants: Islamic Court Unions, Islamist Militias, Eritrea, & Foriegn Jihadists vs. ARPCT(Alliance of Somali Warlords), Transitional Federal Parliment of Somalia, Puntland, Rahanweyn Resistance Army, & Ethiopia.

The Issue At Hand: While Somalia has been war torn for some time, the ICU recently took over the capital Mogadishu and is currently in control of the majority of the Country. The ICU has claimed that they wish to bring the entire nation under Quranic law. In July of 2006 Ethiopia deployed troops as well as tanks and attack helicopters into Somalia. Tensions have escalated ever since. Many see this conflict as a means for Ethiopia and Eritrea to continue agressions against one another.

Recent Developments: On December 19th the ICU declared that it would press the attack, however on December 20th fighting broke out between Somali and ICU forces near Baioda. Recently Ethiopia has joined the fray in Baioda and is attempting to push back the ICU from the Parliment's only remaining bastion.

Central African War (The CAR Civil War, the Darfur Conflict, and the Chadian-Sudanese Conflict)

Combatants: Sudan backed rebels, Chad Rebels, UFDR Rebels, & Janjaweed vs. Central African Republic, Chad, & France.


The Issue At Hand: Three seperate hostilities, the CAR Civil War, the Darfur Conflict, and the Chadian-Sudanese conflict have merged into a grand conflict taking place in all three of the nations mentioned. The Central African Republic accused the Sudanese government of backing and aiding the UFDR in the CAR civil war leading to hostilities between the two governments. As a result Sudanese forces including the Janjaweed are now hostile towards CAR forces. In addition Chad is currently hostile towards the Sudan due to the Janjaweed raiding villages and towns in Chad. Over 200,000 refugees from the Sudan have sought asylumin Chad leading many officials in the nation to claim that the Sudanese are trying to spread their conflict into other regions. Finally both sides claim that the other is funding various rebel groups attempting to distabalize the respective nations. As a result of both the CAR and Chad bordering the Darfur region, many feel that the Darfur conflict has spread into other nations.

Iraqi Civil War

Combatants: Al-Qaeda in Iraq, Islamic Army in Iraq, Mohammad's Army, Black Banner Organization, Ba'ath Loyalists, Various Sunni Militias vs. Mahdi Army, Badr Organization, Various Shiite Militias.

The Issue at Hand: While the Iraq war is still going on, it has become clear that the nation has fractioned to the point of a civil war (or is at least on the brink of a civil war). The various factions have utilized the country's instability and the impotence of the New Iraqi government to carry out attacks against one another. This conflict has resulted in the deaths of possibly over half a million Iraqis, the assassinations of various Iraqi govt. officials, the destruction of non-military targets, in addition to turning over 1 million Iraqis in to refugees.


...Those are real wars...just some of the real wars going on in the world right now. I'd like to tell the Bill O'Reillies of the World to cut the War on Christmas Crap. We should all be grateful that we even get to enjoy this time with our families. We should be grateful that we aren't being forced from our homes as tanks storm through our neighborhoods. We should be grateful that there aren't bullets whizzing by our heads and that the only lights we'll be seeing are from Christmas lights and not from roadside bombs.

Most of all we should be grateful that the most we have to worry about is whether or not we get a good gift for Christmas, or Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, or whatever holiday we choose to celebrate. Some people have bigger things to worry about...

Happy Holidays....